Time is an elusive task master. There never seems to be enough. Making time for our children is a priority but often gets put on the back burner. How does that happen? The truth is our kids are more forgiving then the world. But we can change this. Here is how to have quality time with your kids when you have no time.
CHANGE YOUR MINDSET
We put so much emphasis on making “quality time” with our kids that it becomes this Everest we can never climb.
Get that perfect image of quality time out of your head. I know you have one, we all do. It’s been shoved into our subconscious by commercials, adds and every Hallmark Christmas movie ever.
I imagine me and my children sitting on the floor smiling and laughing for hours making puzzles and crafts that clean up themselves, none of us getting bored, no fighting, no crying, no interruptions…You get the picture. It’s a fantasy.
When reality is nothing like this perfect image, I think I failed. And when you fail at something you are not very excited to do it all over again tomorrow. So quality time with the kids just doesn’t happen. Can you relate?
This is me giving you permission to kick your mom guilt in the butt and shove the perfect image of “quality time” with your kids out the door. I going to tell you how you can actually have “special time” with each of your kids that is so easy you might not believe it until you try it.
HOW TO HAVE QUALITY TIME WITH YOUR KIDS
Ready for it? 10 minutes a day! That’s all you need! Think I’m crazy? Let me prove you wrong.
First, give it a name. Name this 10 minutes what ever you want but make sure your child knows what it’s called. If they know what it’s called, then they can ask for it.
My 5 and 7 year old often come up to me and ask can we have “mommy-(child’s name) time.” Maybe I can’t give it to them right then but I can certainly schedule 10 minutes into my afternoon. Might be while the macaroni is boiling.
THE RULES
Next, there are rules. First, you have to do whatever the child chooses. If that means running around in circles for 10 minutes, get on your running shoes.
Second rule is only one child at a time. No doubling up to save time. This can be hard when siblings try to get in on your “special time.” Simply remind them they will get their time too. This will get easier. Promise.
Next, put on a timer. Let the timer be the bad guy and tell your child time is up so you don’t have to! I don’t know about you, but I can only stand 10 minutes talking about Pokémon and not a second more. This is a great visual timer for younger kids on Amazon!
Pause the timer for any interruptions, such as a sibling crying. When they see that you are dedicated to spending every second of their “special time” with them they feel valued. Kids are smarter then we think, they will notice. When that timer goes off make sure you tell them how much you loved playing with them.
Lastly, make it happen! Be as consistent as you can, especially in the beginning when your child is learning what this all means. The best way to do this is to have it at the same time every day.
Now there are days that you just won’t get to everyone. But make sure you tell them your sorry you didn’t get to have your “special time” together today, but your dedicated to making it happen tomorrow. This little thing means the world to your child.
HOW THIS WORKS FOR ME AND MY FAMILY
So what does this look like for me? I have four kids. Read about us here. Two in school, two not. The eleven month old is basically attached to my hip, but I do make an effort to sit down with him and really look him in the eye while reading a book or playing peak-a-boo.
The 2 year old gets his “special time” during the youngest’s nap and while the older two are at school. After the older two have completed their homework they each get their time. Sometimes depending on family needs this happens before or after dinner. Whenever I can find 10 minutes. It’s not perfect, but I can’t tell you how much it means to my boys.
THE POSITIVE AFFECT YOU WILL SEE ON THEIR BEHAVIOR
I see the affect it has on their behavior. It’s amazing! They don’t feel the need to act out to get my attention because they know they will get my undivided attention today.
When a child does act out if I look back on the day 9 times out of 10 I realize I forgot to have their “special time” with them.
This spans all the ages, my eight year old needs it just as much as the 2 year old…maybe more. As my oldest begins to assert his independence I always notice the difference between the days we did and didn’t have our “special time.”
I see the positive affect on myself too. I feel more productive and confident as a mother when I know I made the time for each of my kids today. Where ever else I feel I failed that day I know I did one thing right.
I also know I’m building the foundation with my kids that will see us through all the challenges they will face through adolescences and beyond.
Still skeptical? I dare you to try it. Honest, just 10 minutes a day. Give it a solid week.
Please share your experiences in the comments! We can all learn from each other!
HERE’S A SUMMARY
- Take 10 minutes with each child once a day.
- Give your 10 minutes a name.
- You have to do whatever your child wants, they decide.
- Must be one on one. No doubling up.
- Set a timer and pause it for interruptions.
- Be consistent.
- See the positive effects on your child and you.